Day 13 of 31 – Ending Right

The days end best like this.

Sleep beckons.  After Ascher has one last bedtime snack and jammies and a clean diaper we head to his room.  There is soft lamplight and clear floors and right now it’s the happiest room in the house.  The rocker and pillows and curtains and dresser and sweet cartoonish animals on the wall are custom made and specially chosen for him, my first baby.  And though it took time for it to be more than just another (decorated) room to store stuff, the room now feels like it is fulfilling some of the happy dreams I had when I was pregnant with him.   So we head to Ascher’s room.

I rock with Wilona and watch Ascher play until Ben comes in.  Then they wrestle and play throw and chase with a bouncy ball and read a book or two.  Eventually Ben is resting on the floor mattress while Ascher continues to play and be-bop all around.  The game tonight is to throw the ball to the other side of Ben, flop onto Ben(and do it again if he doesn’t oof loudly enough) and climb over to grab the ball.  Then he stands up and launches the ball across the room, flops from standing onto Ben again and slide down the hill of Ben and mattress, on his tummy like an otter.  Then he runs and grabs his ball and does it all again.  Over and over and over he does this, testing gravity and heights and rebounds and the limits of his own energy, getting tickles and extra tumbles and wrestles along the way.

I watch them, the small, round, busy one and the man with the quick energy and the delight in his boy and the content, joyful, gentle smile lines around his eyes and as I nurse Wilona I bask in the rightness.  So much rightness.

Then I’m reminded that maybe Wilona would like to play.  So I set her on her tummy on the floor and we cheer for how big she holds her head up and Ben gets down low so she can see him and she grins her giant grin to him and goos.  Ascher comes and sets himself on his tummy near Ben, looking and smiling and talking at her, and rolls his bouncy ball right to her and when she doesn’t grab it he shoves it closer, right into her arms and nearly underneath her.  Then he leans and snuggles his face right next to hers and pats her.  He says, “‘ey ‘oo” and Ben and I eye-connect and say “he said Hey, you!” and that’s sometimes how we greet each other and Ascher greets Wilona with our family phrase and again there is that sense of the rightness.

And I bask and bask and bask, because sometimes days don’t feel quite right, but always I want to remember the rightness that is her joining us and him joining us and us, joining and all of that making our family.

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{Below photos were taken when Wilona was 5 weeks old(ten weeks ago!).  Photo credit to Mary Ostyn}

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